Hi friends,

I am Divine, a student in Sakinah’s 90 Day Reset! I started this course back in June 2021, and now that it is August, I figured it was time to share my honest feedback on it. 

Let’s answer your first question…

What Is The 90 Day Reset?

I’m glad you asked! Sakinah’s 90 Day Reset is a comprehensive course that claims to change the way her students see their health. Fad diets and detoxes have been the promoted way to achieve health. Sakinah knew that was not sustainable. While she has other amazing programs like her Sugar Detox and cooking classes, she knew without the proper mindset, those results were temporary.

In this course, students are supposed to be able to learn what true health is, how to master their mindset around it, and then implement baby steps each week to improve their habits, ultimately transforming their health. 

Life Before The Reset

First, for those that don’t know, Sakinah is my mom. I am that Divine. The one that was allergic to EVERYTHING. We’re talking dogs, cats, cockroaches, and all but four foods. WHO is allergic to roaches?! 

You might assume I should have this health thing figured out perfectly because my mom is a health coach. That is one of many myths I will debunk here. 

I love my mother dearly, but from a young age, if she said the sky was blue, I said it was red and I wouldn’t budge on my stance, despite all other evidence backing her “theory.” Whatever my mom said to do, I went out of my way to do the opposite. It felt empowering. Even in my mess, I was proud that I made my own decision. It was absolutely crazy. I apologize to my mom and thank her for her perseverance through my rollercoaster childhood. Today, however, I think that same energy, coupled with kindness, gentleness, and respect are my strengths. 

I research. I think. I have to test things for myself and I won’t endorse them until I believe in the results. What I am about to share with you is by far the most invaluable lesson I have learned.

Growing up, I LOVED to eat. As a young child, I loved to cook. I felt drawn to pastries, but I would cook anything my mom let me. I can’t remember the exact events that brought on my destructive habits with food, but I remember around eight or nine I began hiding food in my room.  Simultaneously, I was the heaviest of all of my friends my entire life. Shocker. 

Additionally, I suffered from food and environmental allergies so badly that local hospitals hardly needed me to sign in. The fairly large emergency room would have my information pulled up in no time and I’d have repeat doctors and nurses who already expected to see me every spring and fall. This wasn’t a small-town hospital, this was a well-established institution. Yay, me. 

My whole life, as young as five or six, I’d always hated my weight and my appearance, so I wished I was one of those people “strong enough” to starve myself, but every time I would think about my weight, I would get stressed out and eat more. My allergy and asthma were managed by over seven medications I was prescribed to consume 2-5 times per day every day. Like most pharmaceutical meds, they caused additional weight gain and mood swings.

By age ten my love of cooking wore off, and I battled depression, anxiety, and a variety of torturous mental illnesses. I had to be hospitalized multiple times. I had no clue that any of these things were related to food. I thought I was fat because I ate so much, but it turns out, the amount of food I ate was hardly the problem. Looking back on pictures, it also turns out I wasn’t even fat!

Throughout my teens, I ignored everything my mom told me, and tried starving, purging, the egg diet, military diet, vegetarianism, veganism, and whatever other weird things I found on Tumblr – an emo social media platform – or Pinterest that had people raving about how skinny they got in no time. 

By twenty, I thought I wanted to achieve wellness the right way. These extreme diets were racking up my doctor bills and they were either backed by vague science, or the same scientists making the meds I’d need to manage the problems caused by the food I was eating. I began detoxing and looking into holistic wellness, whether it was my mom’s work, or someone on google making up their own theories as they went. I still had the wrong mindset. I thought if I was patient and faithful through a detox for a few days to a few weeks every so often, my body would be clean, refreshed, and ready to handle my fast food obsession again. It was about balance, right?

Wrong. 

After a smoothie cleanse, I went for some fast food with my friends, as us young, broke adult children do, and doubled over in pain. That night I said never again, and then roughly three weeks later I was right back to my normal eating habits – greasy, cheesy, and processed. 

After the Sugar Detox in January of this year, I committed to a gluten-free diet which was great and all, but I still forced myself to “love” cooking when I truly hated it, and I wound up back in the clutches of my toxic habits. Easy, prepackaged food grabbed me by the ear and demanded another round in the ring, so I gave in. 

I was getting frustrated. When I heard about the 90 Day Reset, to be completely honest, I assumed failure before I began, but my friend was doing it, so I figured I’d do it. At the bare minimum, I would walk away with cool information to sound like I know what I’m talking about at a dinner conversation.

The Mindset Shift

The first couple of weeks into the Reset, I felt immense pressure to follow a strict set of rules and eat perfectly. The workbook specifically said NOT to treat this like a detox and to take my time. I want it perfect or not at all. That was my first problem. You probably know the quote “Perfection is the enemy of progress.” It’s true. While I focused on all the things I was doing wrong, my thoughts clouded my memory and perspective. I was already expecting to fail and hardly giving myself the chance to grow and at least get better before I can master this skill. 

The two major differences I noticed by week four of this course against all other tactics I’d tried were the focus on mindset work, and unlike a detox, my progress here didn’t have an end date or a specific goal in mind. I had goals, of course, but there wasn’t a group goal I felt pressured to reach. If you’re a fan of The Office, you know groups of people vying for a united goal, especially in something as individualistic as health, is not always the best idea. People end up starving, consuming questionable pills, and tapeworms from South America…or wherever they’re from…

My most valuable realization was that we have been lied to about health in so many different ways. Being as close with my mom as I am, I eventually came to know all the lies behind the food and medical industries, but I never thought about how we are truly lied to about what health looks like and how to approach it. I came to understand that my health is not about suffering through a program for a few weeks to get back to my comfortable bondage. It has always been about finding ways to enjoy living healthier. I couldn’t focus on what was being “taken” from me. When I shifted my mind from seeing this as everything I am used to being snatched from me to rejecting the things that don’t love me as much as I love them, that was when the true empowerment came. We have relationships with food similar to people. When people are toxic and they hurt us, we’re encouraged to cut them off. Why not food too? Why not habits that keep us in the same cycles, barring us from our goals?

My eyes were opened to this feeling that can only be felt, not fully explained. I didn’t know how enslaved and blinded I was to cultural conditioning until I felt the freedom of doing something else. 

Owning My Reset

My first goal in this Reset was to drink more water. From there, I learned that I lose weight by my breathing patterns in my sleep. Back when my primary goal was weight loss, I decided it was time to start jumping in bed by 9:30 every night, even if Harry Styles was at my door by 9:31pm – just jokes, I am swinging that door open, in that case. I hit every goal and found myself happier, less stressed, less inflamed, and more motivated and productive with my new sleep schedule. I was on fire! I felt like I was really doing something, but I was waiting for my fire to burn out. 

It did. 

Why? Because I expected it of myself. When I experienced burnout, I received instruction on how to get out of my rut. I journaled my honest thoughts and fears about my success in this program, then wrote down what it would look like if I conquered those fears. When I did this, I could envision my success. I could see myself in reality as the person I have only seen in a pipe dream. That was a game-changer. I decided to cut my pity party short and continue toward my daily goals. 

As a writer, my day-to-day life could easily be an overly sedentary one. I sit at a desk every day for hours, pecking away and immersing myself in different worlds. It is exciting! However, I really need clarity of thought and energy or else my work suffers. My office is next to my room and my kitchen is behind my office. I probably took 200 steps on a good day. 

Now, I go on one or two short walks every day. I’m no Usain Bolt, but slow and steady wins the long-term race. I don’t like long walks so I break them up into 2 quick walks per day and average about forty-five hundred steps per day. 

My choices are no longer centered around weight loss and general acceptance, but around maintaining my freedom from lies and toxic behaviors. My health is improving because I am not stressing over it, but enjoying the journey. I love being me now more than ever – which hasn’t been hard to beat, but trust me, this feeling is pure, overwhelming peace and joy. My major bonus is my new Airfryer – the magical tool for those who hate cooking and cleaning!

If you are considering the 90 Day Reset, I encourage you to poke around Sakinah’s socials, and ask questions! I assure you if you enter with an open mind and trust the process, you will finally see the “you” of your dreams coming to life within you. 

The favorite daughter at the table,

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