“It is much easier to create from a blank slate than it is to fix a fiasco.”– Sakinah Bunch
I had a coach who would tell me it is easier to build from scratch than to attempt to repair something that has been broken for a while. It becomes rusted and set in its ways.
I expressed to her I believe nothing is impossible. She agreed, “ Nothing is impossible but why recreate the wheel when you can build something even better?”
Here at Holistic Coaching with Sakinah B., relationships are super important. Relationships are at the crux of all that we do because we are relational beings. Whether it is a relationship with family, friends, or food, the correlation impacts every aspect of our lives. I am a perpetual student, therefore when I was thinking of how to reach the next generation spiritually, I was at a loss, so I sought the advice of those much more knowledgeable than me in this area. Spiritual connection is important to and for us as humans whether we believe in the God of the Bible, the god of self, or anywhere in between.
When it came to health, my philosophy was to model it more than I speak it, but to educate when those teachable moments arrived. However, I have since discovered that the old way of doing things may not necessarily be the only way to accomplish this task. Please hear what I am saying, it is not the principle that needs to change, but perhaps the methods may need to be improved.
Before you even get to the point where you can make a difference, you must first get them to hear you. How do you do that you ask?
Well, first we must be willing to…wait for it…wait for it…we MUST first LISTEN!
Today everyone is talking and no one is listening. If we want to make a difference in the lives of young people, we must listen to them. Listen to their hopes and dreams. Listen to their concerns. Listen with the intent of hearing, not just to respond or take notes for nagging or punishments that may ensue later.
With the up-and-coming generations, we must first have a relationship with them. That is the one thing they are truly missing. They are missing people; adults who value them for who they are and not what we can change them into being.
With the onset of social media, relationship has been sacrificed on the altar and relegated to strokes on a keyboard, even when the person you are “connecting” with is sitting right next to you.
How do we get past that?
Create moments where they will want to put down the technology even for short moments in time. Bring back family “sit down at the table” mealtime where conversations are had and create a tech-free zone.
But during those moments when tech seems to take over, going against the grain will only create a tug of war. Instead of allowing Mt. St. Helens to erupt, perhaps we can sit alongside and ask questions, non-judgy questions. Perhaps you can ask if they can teach you a game, or watch memes with them.
My son and I watch football and memes together. Both can be a bit crude, but when he saw that I didn’t flinch, I noticed he started opening up to me about other things. My relationship with him is very important to me. Although, some of the memes and things that he is into may completely bore me, just like certain parts of my lifestyle completely bore him, the fact that an effort is being made to take an interest supersedes anything else. I love him so I will take an interest in what interests him.
Does it require work? Absolutely.
Tolerance? You bet.
But it is so worth it.
I am not saying that everything is always rosey, there have been quite a few times that it was not. But when a child knows we care, and not that we are just being nosey to punish them for something they did or didn’t do, the countenance of that child changes. You will know and even understand that beautiful young person in a completely new way. I have learned so much from this new generation. My hope is that they have as well learned something from me. I pray that you also get to experience the beauty and wonder of the minds and hearts or tomorrow’s leaders, movers, and shakers in a way that will knock your socks off.
If you need to talk it out some more, let’s chat!
Bringing the family back to the table,
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